The Skinny Waste

2011-03-29T23:46:00.001-04:00

I think I'd rather kill myself than live like this.

Modified ABC diet

2011-02-15T14:25:00.003-05:00

I am going to attempt a modified ABC diet:

Day 1: 1,000 cals
Day 2: 1,000 cals
Day 3: 600 cals
Day 4: 800 cals
Day 5: 200 cals
Day 6: 400 cals
Day 7: 600 cals
Day 8: 800 cals
Day 9: 1,000 cals
Day 10: LIQUID FAST
Day 11: 300 cals
Day 12: 400 cals
Day 13: 800 cals
Day 14: 700 cals
Day 15: 500 cals
Day 16: 400 cals
Day 17: LIQUID FAST
Day 18: 400 cals
Day 19: 200 cals
Day 20: LIQUID FAST
Day 21: 600 cals
Day 22: 500 cals
Day 23: 400 cals
Day 24: 300 cals
Day 25: 200 cals
Day 26: 100 cals
Day 27: 200 cals
Day 28: 400 cals
Day 29: 400 cals
Day 30: 600 cals
Day 31: 1,600 cals
Day 32: LIQUID FAST
Day 33: 500 cals
Day 34: 700 cals
Day 35: 900 cals
Day 36: LIQUID FAST
Day 37: 1,000 cals
Day 38: 900 cals
Day 39: 800 cals
Day 40: 700 cals
Day 41: 600 cals
Day 42: 500 cals
Day 43: 400 cals
Day 44: 400 cals
Day 45: 500 cals
Day 46: 400 cals
Day 47: 600 cals
Day 48: 400 cals
Day 49: 300 cals
Day 50: LIQUID FAST

Today is Day 1...if I follow it until completion, the final day will be April 5th. There are two obstacles currently in my way, and those are two trips I am taking towards the end of the diet. Hopefully because they will be at the end, I will have total willpower by then and it won't be so difficult to stick to the diet. I wonder how much I'll lose if I actually complete this AND go to the gym...

Disgusted

2011-02-15T13:39:00.002-05:00

Today I went to Banana Republic to try on tops for a date I have tomorrow. I haven't been so depressed as I was when I saw my body in the mirror - I am disgusting, I couldn't even look at myself. When did I lose the control? When did I lose the willpower? I used to be so good at this, and now I am worthless and fat. I need to count calories every single day, no exceptions. I need to move into my new apartment and separate myself from food because it is ruining my life. I need to find two hours a day to spend at the gym until I am at an acceptable weight, even if that means going in the morning and at night. There are consequences for being as lazy as I have been these past few months, and those consequences show all over my body - a sloppy reminder of my failure to control myself. I will regain control. I will be better. I will be stronger. I will be thinner. I will finally be happy.

2011-02-11T11:38:00.002-05:00

Went to the gym last night and burned 400 calories on the treadmill - it felt great to really run again. I think I am getting addicted - which is good! Ate a healthy dinner - half a veggie burrito and then went to bed. A good day overall.

This morning, I've had coffee and greek yogurt (0% fat!) with strawberries and pineapple - only 167 calories so far today :)

Plan for today

2011-02-10T16:01:00.003-05:00

I have eaten pretty healthily today, and after work I am going to the gym where I will run and then do some upper body lifting. Then a little stretching, and it's off to the train to go home. I will be so happy when I don't have to commute anymore - less than three weeks until I move!

Reading my old posts

2011-02-10T15:56:00.001-05:00

I was just looking back through my old posts and they really motivated me to better myself. Starting today, I am going to be better. I am going to be stronger, prettier, and skinnier than I ever have before. It just takes a lot of hard work and a drive that I know I have in me. Food is a drug, and I will not be addicted.

2010-12-05T19:29:00.001-05:00

Right now is the perfect time - we can do it!

2010-12-04T15:12:00.002-05:00

2010-12-03T11:55:00.003-05:00

Today has been a failure. This weekend I will be perfect.

2010-12-02T14:54:00.001-05:00

Blessed are those that hunger and thirst.

2010-12-02T14:52:00.002-05:00

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us. - Peter de Vries

2010-12-02T14:47:00.002-05:00

The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life. - Cyril Connolly

2010-12-02T14:45:00.000-05:00

One should eat to live, not live to eat. - Cicero

2010-12-02T14:16:00.002-05:00

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

2010-11-29T20:13:00.000-05:00

863 calories today - tomorrow will be less.

Guess what??

2010-11-29T19:59:00.001-05:00

...I'm back...

Here's the plan:

2010-09-03T18:12:00.002-04:00

Only fruit & vegetables until September 23.

My inspiration

2010-08-15T23:07:00.002-04:00

2010-08-15T23:02:00.002-04:00

2010-08-15T22:53:00.005-04:00

Guess what?

2010-08-15T22:03:00.000-04:00

I'm back!

2010-06-20T17:43:00.000-04:00

A New Beginning

2010-06-19T21:22:00.003-04:00

I just bought P90X today online, and I am having it expressed shipped to my house - I can't wait to start. I have gained a lot of weight in the last three months - I am up to 140 lbs again! I want this to be a new start for me, where I get skinny and ripped so that I will have a tight beach body. Wish me luck ;)

Tanya Dziahileva

2010-06-04T22:33:00.002-04:00

2010-05-30T22:38:00.003-04:00

2010-05-28T20:50:00.004-04:00

Finals

2010-05-09T13:48:00.001-04:00

I am fat. Same old story. Eating is my least favorite thing to do in the entire world. I just want to rid myself of the ability to feel anything related to food. It doesn't taste good, it doesn't feel good in your stomach, it's just disgusting and unnatural and dirty.

coffee
junior mints (is that serious?!)
diet coke

2010-05-07T09:42:00.001-04:00

In finals...I'll be back soon!

2010-05-03T09:13:00.001-04:00

So you can love me hate me rearrange me
But you're never gonna have this song
You can tease me please me even leave me
But you can never have this song

- Diana DeMuth, "Blue Eyes"

2010-04-27T10:13:00.003-04:00

Did not do well yesterday - had a major binge. Which is disgusting. So basically I need to try harder and be more committed because I am fat and it needs to change.

Countdown to graduation...

2010-04-26T03:03:00.002-04:00

So I am graduating from university in about a month. Naturally this means I want to look amazing in my graduation dress, thus I must restrict heavily for the next four weeks. Wish me luck - I will be updating much more frequently so that I can stay on track ;)

Massive thinspo post!

2010-04-26T02:35:00.006-04:00

I love this site

2010-04-19T13:33:00.001-04:00

http://www.calorieconnect.com/

Natasha Poly's body is unfair

2010-04-18T13:06:00.000-04:00

Thinspo

2010-04-15T22:17:00.002-04:00

New weight

2010-04-12T21:28:00.005-04:00

130 lbs!

Yay for thinspo!!

2010-04-12T21:25:00.003-04:00

Sunday thinspo - sorry for the double image!

2010-04-11T11:31:00.003-04:00

thinspo

2010-04-09T09:25:00.002-04:00

Mid-week thinspo - keep it up!

2010-04-07T09:27:00.002-04:00

Sunday thinspo - with Anja Rubik!

2010-04-04T13:55:00.001-04:00

Just a little bit

2010-04-02T17:58:00.000-04:00

Wednesday thinspo

2010-03-31T18:01:00.001-04:00

Thinspo - with Abbey Lee!!

2010-03-30T21:02:00.003-04:00

Victoria's Secret - total thinspo video!

2010-03-30T20:58:00.004-04:00

Watch it here!

Runway thinspo

2010-03-29T19:14:00.002-04:00

Random thinspo

2010-03-29T09:59:00.002-04:00

Mid-morning boost

2010-03-29T09:55:00.003-04:00

Americano w/ non-fat milk & Splenda

Total: 35 calories

Grand total for today so far: 258 calories

Planning to run for 5 miles at the gym so I will burn this all off ;-)

Breakfast

2010-03-29T08:04:00.002-04:00

1 slice organic white bread
1 Smart Balance spread
1 oz. fat-free yogurt
1 cup coffee

Total: 222 calories

I had no idea there were so many calories in Smart Balance spread - 80 ! So I will just go back to butter because one pat has 20 calories - if that is not true, someone please correct me, I am going off of what my Calorie King program says. I hate not knowing what the exact calories are, it kills me haha.

Good luck to everyone today, and I will post more photos later!

It's Monday morning...time to start again!

2010-03-29T07:40:00.002-04:00

New rule

2010-03-28T14:25:00.002-04:00

Just read in the April issue of SHAPE that if you always eat in a certain place, that place will trigger you to be hungry. I have a really bad habit of eating in my room right before I go to bed, so I am making a new rule that I am not allowed to eat in my room at all. So hopefully within the next few weeks my brain will be trained to withstand eating in my room. Instead I will have to make myself get up and walk downstairs to the dining area in my dorm to eat, and obviously I am not going to want to do that late at night. I'll let you know how it goes!

Anja Rubik for Saks Fifth Avenue

2010-03-28T14:06:00.003-04:00

Sunday thinspo: please can I have skinny legs?!

2010-03-28T14:01:00.004-04:00

Saturday thinspo

2010-03-27T17:32:00.004-04:00

More thinspo - enjoy!

2010-03-26T15:07:00.003-04:00

Friday thinspo

2010-03-26T13:30:00.002-04:00

UGH

2010-03-26T13:25:00.002-04:00

I am not committed enough to how I want to my body to look. I am wasting my time with food. Stop eating, it doesn't taste good anyway. You are fat, and nobody will want you if you keep eating! I need to realize my potential. I need to exercise everyday. I need to stop drinking alcohol. I need to stop eating food that is bad for me. I need to be better. Thinner. Prettier. Stronger. I will do it.

Model thinspo: Freja Beha Erichsen - Vogue UK (April 2010)

2010-03-23T15:04:00.001-04:00

More thinspo

2010-03-21T19:45:00.003-04:00

Sunday funday thinspo

2010-03-21T13:28:00.003-04:00

Alessandra Ambrosio being ridiculously in shape

2010-03-17T10:07:00.006-04:00

official screen name

2010-03-16T23:52:00.007-04:00

I decided to make an official AIM screen name so that people can find me online if they want to

- it's theskinnywaste so not too hard to figure out -

can't wait to hear from some of you!

Miss Burton's Competition

2010-03-16T23:28:00.005-04:00

Starts tomorrow and goes until March 28th. Sign up at her blog --> link

I am absolutely participating...128 lbs, here I come!

Also, in response to the Hannah who wrote on my chat/sidebar - I would be happy to be ana buddies via AIM with you (and anyone else!) - please send your screen names (AIM) to my email address --> fameisourfelony@gmail.com and I will try to get it all worked out!

Kristin Cavallari is still thin, but not skinnnny

2010-03-16T17:43:00.003-04:00

She just had a baby? Really?!?!

2010-03-16T10:07:00.000-04:00

One detox, comin' right up!

2010-03-16T10:05:00.001-04:00

Still visiting the boyfriend...doing a fair amount of walking during the day, and we've been going to the gym so I'm not a total cow yet. I am headed home tomorrow, thinking about a juice/liquid day and gym detox for the rest of the week!

Who's with me?

Black & white thinspo

2010-03-13T18:28:00.007-05:00

Update from spring break

2010-03-13T18:11:00.004-05:00

So I'm visiting my boyfriend at law school for spring break. I arrived yesterday afternoon and since then he has been like "You are so skinny, blah, blah, blah" - I even ate normal dinner last night and normal brunch!

We went to the gym together this afternoon. I weighed myself on the scale in the locker room - 134.2 will my sneakers and sweats on. So that's still pretty good.

I will update again soon, xo!

Random model thinspo

2010-03-13T17:51:00.004-05:00

Brit thinspo: Nadine Coyle of Girls Aloud

2010-03-13T17:38:00.003-05:00

Hot bitches thinspo

2010-03-11T00:47:00.002-05:00

Model (and hair?!) thinspo: Alice Dellal in Vogue Brazil (March 2010)

2010-03-10T19:31:00.003-05:00

Check out the photo shoot here

Celebration thinspo (in honor of my new low!)

2010-03-10T12:48:00.002-05:00

WOOHOO!!!

2010-03-09T18:38:00.004-05:00

I'm 132 lbs !

A little bit o' this: model thinspo

2010-03-09T18:32:00.004-05:00

Ew.

2010-03-08T08:31:00.003-05:00

I'm fat.

Yes, please!

2010-03-08T01:25:00.003-05:00

Avatar-inspired thinspo: Zoe Saldana

2010-03-06T19:45:00.007-05:00

VS Angels Thinspo: Candice Swanepoel

2010-03-05T22:32:00.003-05:00

Oh, happy day!

2010-03-04T12:04:00.003-05:00

I am finally feeling like I am in the lower 130s again - my legs are definitely smaller around and my arms are really defined and kind of sinewy (although there are nothing like Madonna's, thank goodness).

It's great because I don't even feel deprived - I work out, restrict, and it's finally paying off. Hope everyone is having a good day, too!

In other VS model news...Marissa Miller in Vegas Magazine

2010-03-04T08:58:00.003-05:00

A dose of Miranda Kerr

2010-03-04T08:55:00.003-05:00

Holding strong...

2010-03-04T02:09:00.002-05:00

...at 134 lbs.

I want to reach 132-130 lbs by Spring Break - March 12.

Eating has been good, just need to ramp up the exercise!

Cheryl Cole is tiiiny

2010-03-03T05:29:00.005-05:00

That's it...I want to be a Victoria's Secret model

2010-03-03T05:10:00.002-05:00

Lent update

2010-03-03T03:38:00.002-05:00

I have successfully eaten NO CHOCOLATE for two weeks - YAY!

an itty bitty update

2010-03-02T22:33:00.004-05:00

This week (ok, so today and yesterday) have gone really well - worked out a lot yesterday. I did this one exercise that totally toned my legs, especially my hamstrings - I love it!

Some bad news from my doctor - she called this morning to say my thyroid is still messed up. Apparently it's overactive? If it is, I would supposedly be burning extra calories each day, so I beg to differ. Either way, I have to see an endocrinologist. Has anyone else had this problem or know anything about it? Let me know!

Less than 800 cals today and I have been moving and going alllll day long, so hopefully that has burned some of it off - I haven't gone over my carb or sugar limit and I managed to get a fair amount of protein in. Whew, busy day! I hope everyone else is doing well, think thin!

Ugh, bikini season approaching: Etam lingerie/swim Spring 2010

2010-03-02T10:33:00.002-05:00

Jacquelyn Jablonski: Deutsch Magazine #42

2010-03-01T08:08:00.005-05:00

check out the whole shoot here

Anna Selezneva in Numero (March 2010)

2010-02-27T16:19:00.001-05:00

update re: day 4

2010-02-26T08:08:00.002-05:00

Can yesterday not count?

That'd be great, considering I consumed enough calories that I was convinced my arteries were going to pop - ping! ping! ping! - in reality, it was about 1500, but that is outrageous - and I didn't work out because I still feel miserably sick.

Better luck today? I hope so.

The return of Hilary Duff

2010-02-25T07:51:00.002-05:00

I was very excited to see that Hilary Duff appears to have lost some weight (since she had gained A LOT - love Hilary Duff, but it's true) and I want her to go back to being that amazing, fit goddess of thin that she was in 2005.

I literally dream about things like this - is that weird?

2005 was a great year for skinny - Mischa Barton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff...those were the days.

You can check out the recent pictures here --> [link]

Not to complain but...

2010-02-25T05:29:00.001-05:00

...I LOOK FAT IN EVERYTHING.

I am going to wear a sweatshirt and loose-fitting black pants today. And everyday until I am skinny.

Ugh.

TIIINY WAIST - Karolin Wolter in Tush #1 (2010)

2010-02-25T05:00:00.001-05:00

ethereal thinspo: Mathilde Frachon in Marie Claire Italia (March 2010)

2010-02-25T04:53:00.002-05:00

Anja Rubik in Vogue Spain (March 2010)

2010-02-25T04:46:00.004-05:00

Freja Beha Erichsen - Vogue Nippon (March 2010)

2010-02-25T04:42:00.001-05:00

and on the third day...

2010-02-24T22:36:00.002-05:00

Smoking - 1

Workout - 1

Calories - 1

Processed Foods - 1

Alcohol - 1

Weigh-in - 1

Still 134.

Still feeling sick - nose is all stuffed up. Ugh.

300th post

2010-02-24T07:49:00.002-05:00

You'd think after weighing in at 134 last night that I would feel skinny this morning.

No such luck.

I'm feeling inspired

2010-02-24T00:51:00.004-05:00

In light of my two-pound loss, I pledge that I will not stop restricting until I weigh 129 lbs (that will give me a BMI of 18.5).

I am going to do it and no one can stop me!